For starters, you might consider believing everything you hear on late-night talk shows. That’s what ten percent of Americans do. A survey by the Pew Research Center (motto: "If the results stink, just say Pew") found that ten percent of the people they spoke to got information about the presidential campaign from late-night hosts like Jay Leno and David Letterman. Not from the newspaper. Not from campaign ads. Not even from the guy next door who sends emails from the underground bunker he crawled into on December 31st and refuses to vacate until he learns how to spell Armageddon.

     Movies and TV are other sources of information for people who have a light grasp on reality. It’s amazing how many times I’ve heard someone spout off something they saw in a film as if it’s the gospel. The only time they don’t seem to do it is when they see "The Greatest Story Ever Told" which actually is the gospel. I hate to be the one to tell you, but here’s a news flash: Movies aren’t reality.

     The problem with the windchill index as it stands is it doesn’t take into account that the temperature is measured on the ground while the wind is measured 30 feet up. Or that other factors affect how cold you feel, like whether it’s sunny or if you have on a heavy coat. The same thing holds for the heat index, which combines heat and humidity to supposedly indicate how low you need to set your air conditioner.

     Both of these indices need to be adjusted. And while they’re at it they should start a few more, like the rain index, which factors in how hard it’s raining, what you’re wearing, whether you remembered to take your umbrella, and if you actually listened to your mother and wore galoshes. This will let you judge how wet you’ll get when you go out. Or the snow index, which factors in the amount of snow, whether it’s wet or powdery, and if you have teenage sons, the result being a handy index that lets you know how long you’ll be laid up in bed with a sprained back after shoveling.