|
| |
|
|
Altered
Reality TV
by Mad Dog
|
If these shows are
successful I’m sure it will pave the way to more television shows and
movies being converted into reality TV. The possibilities are
endless. |
|
If there’s one thing you
can count on to be a bigger surefire hit than a proven trend, it’s
what you get when you combine two proven trends. This is the thinking
that, over the years, brought us such treasures as Abbott and
Costello Meet Frankenstein, Garfield car window stick-ons, and
Reese’s Peanut Butter Puffs breakfast cereal. It’s also why
there’s little question the new versions of Green Acres and The
Beverly Hillbillies which are currently in production are destined
to be smash hits. After all, how could you not love the marriage of
remade ‘60s TV shows and reality TV?
Yes it’s true. CBS, the network
that brought us Co-Ed Fever, Me and the Chimp, and Big
Brother, is doing an updated version of The Beverly Hillbillies
in which a real life family of poor mountain folks will be moved lock,
stock, and moonshine barrel into a posh L.A. mansion while the cameras
roll. Right, like Anna Nicole Smith didn’t already do that. Meanwhile
Fox, which is still trying to live down The Chevy Chase Show, is
looking to follow a rich family as they uproot themselves and move to a
farm. They haven’t gotten the rights to the name Green Acres
yet so they might have to come up with something new, like Acres of
Green Fattening Our Bank Account. If they were smart, the two
networks would get together and swap families. It would save money, be a
natural co-promotion for the shows, and they’d have a good shot at
winning the Nobel Peace Prize since no one else in the world seems to be
in the mood to cooperate these days.
|
What guy in his
right mind wouldn’t give his right, uh, arm to be a part of an
outdoors adventure camping reality series based on Deliverance? |
|
If these shows are successful, and based on the movie remakes of Rocky
and Bullwinkle, The Flintstones, and The Avengers there’s
no reason to think they will be, I’m sure it will pave the way to more
television shows and movies being converted into reality TV. The
possibilities are endless. A real family could be sent up in a space
rocket during the opening episode of the new Lost in Space. Maybe
they can get Lance Bass of ‘N Synch to talk his family into it. After
all, he’s already had space training. Well, until the Russians kicked
him out of their program because he couldn’t cough up the $20 million
for his ticket.
Next, NBC will find a family that
won’t mind having Mom knocked off—and reinCARnated—so they can be
the focus of the new My Mother The Car, which in these
politically correct times will be renamed My Mother The
Environmentally Friendly Hybrid Car. And face it, what guy in his
right mind wouldn’t give his right, uh, arm to be a part of an
outdoors adventure camping reality series based on Deliverance?
Even the auditions for that show would be worth watching. Personally
I’d love to watch a steady stream of men face the camera and squeal
like a pig.
|
I’ll buy a pair of
binoculars and watch the next door neighbors. It will be just as
entertaining, it will do a much better job of fulfilling my voyeuristic
tendencies, and there won’t be any station breaks, promos, or
commercials to interrupt it. |
|
If reality TV
gets any more real there won’t be any need to watch it, and that day
may be coming sooner than you think. As you read this, ABC is in the
process of filming My Life as a Sitcom. Scheduled to air in
January, it’s being promoted as “the Osbournes meet the
Griswolds.” Their first mistake is in not taking that description
literally. Face it, who wouldn’t stay home to watch Kelly Osbourne
kick Beverly D’Angelo’s butt all over Wally World and back? But
that’s not their plan. They’re going to recruit up to nine real life
families who will allow a writer and cameraman to follow them around
while they act completely natural. Well, as natural as you can be with a
crew of lord knows how many people trailing along behind you. At the end
of the series they’ll choose a winning family who will become the
basis for a sitcom. When that show finally airs we’ll have a great
example of art imitating art imitating life. Well, it would be if it
wasn’t for the fact that it’s doubtful there will be any art or real
life to be found.
I
think the networks are starting to miss the point. After all, watching
celebrities like Ozzie or Liza Minnelli trying to act like good old
everyday run-of-the-mill morons is one thing, but if I’m going to
watch an average family—assuming any family that would let a TV crew
follow them around day after day is average—being good old everyday
run-of-the-mill morons, I’ll buy a pair of binoculars and watch the
next door neighbors. It will be just as entertaining, it will do a much
better job of fulfilling my voyeuristic tendencies, and best of all,
there won’t be any station breaks, promos, or commercials to interrupt
it. Plus I’ll be able to watch it any time I want. Well, as long as
they’re home. And if I’m real lucky I’ll get to see things ABC and
HBO won’t air. Maybe even things the Spice Channel won’t show. Hey,
a guy can always hope, can’t he?
©2002 Mad Dog
Productions, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
These columns appear in better newspapers across the country.
Read them while a camera crew is following you around.
|
|
